Pam, darn it, you were doing so well!

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

I'm 10 months out, and it's still a struggle.

I understand all of y'all and how you feel. I stopped looking at my inability to quit smoking as a weak will issue when I quit this last time.

Most of y'all know my husband is an alcoholic. When I quit smoking, he was still drinking. I had to show him that I could get my monkey off my back. It could be done. He knew that I smoked because I was an addict.

He smoked in the house. He left cigarettes out (which I flushed when I saw them before I had time to think about it). He tried to knock me off the wagon. I said a ton of prayers and used a TON of Oust (air freshener) for two months until he went to rehab. He still smokes, but not anywhere near me or our house.

Every time I want a smoke (which still happens two or three times a week), I give it to God. I know the feeling will pass. I get up and do something. I breathe. I know that if I smoke one, I'm right back where I was. I treat it like an alcoholic treats it. I cannot beat this with will power. I have no will where smoking is concerned. I realize it, and by treating it truly like an addict should, I'm making it one day at a time.

I cannot promise you that I won't smoke tomorrow, but I can say that I won't smoke today. That makes it easier. I only have to make it to bedtime!

Now, those doughnuts are another topic! (But, I can't eat them because of the sugar, which pisses me off!)